I do not know if you even exist but I am writing to you anyway just in case you do. I have been on Christmas Break since last Wednesday the 16th. It has been a long few days. I got home and my room became one huge pile of clothes. Its so wonderful to be back in my bed. I have two memory foams on it so its extra soft. I call it my ca-cun because once I get in my bed I fall asleep and do wake up for a long time. So... this week has gone by really slowly. Thursday my friend Kayla came over. Steven, Kayla, and I all went to Hollywild. It was a lot of fun. Then Friday I went and got a new cell phone and looked for a digital camera. Saturday was a blah day.
blah blah blah. I really do not want to talk about all the garbage. I just kind of want to get my feelings out. So my walk with the Lord has been really difficult this semester. I came from a summer where I was growing a lot and spending everyday reading my bible and praying and just wanting to know the Lord more and more. Now, I get to school and I feel like my life is a mess. I came into school single, I was taking way more hours, and my time in the WORD was either a small amount of time or just not happening. That was really hard for me. I really struggled this semester. Im hoping that will all be changed in Jan. Im going to DC for a Christmas Conference with my friends from this past summer and Ill get to see them and hopefully put back on fire for the Lord. I want to BURN for Christ. I want to get all these thoughts and feelings out and then I am going to go read my bible for real. I have made the decision to do that. I hope things change soon. I do not like the Mary that I am. I expected to be different by the point and knowing the Lord more and being so in love with him. Im in this funky season in my life and I don't like it, but I'm learning. I need to depend on Christ more and less on Mary. I have a huge gap in my heart crying out for Christ. I am so spiritually thirsty and I just keep trying to stop it by using soft drinks (sin) but my thirst needs pure water (Christ). I want to sin fight.
